O' Happy Day

Today I saw my therapist and I must admit that she and I had a good session. She wants me to begin seeing her twice a week and then we will go back down to once a week. I told her about some of the problems that I have been experiencing over the past few days. She wants me to work on doing something positive for myself and to stop calling myself a "hypocrite" (did I spell that right). Anyway I told her that I applied for the Homicide position at work. She thought that was a good idea but I had my concerns because I applied for the position to run away from the rape trials that have now fallen into my lap. She thought it was a good idea that the rape trials were now mine because she seems to think that things happen for a reason. Her idea was that I should not run from it but embrace it as an opportunity to help people similarly situated. I never looked at it like that because all I saw was fear. But what was really meaningful to me was that she said she would help me get through the trials and that I was not alone in this. That meant so much to me because for the past few months I have felt like I have been in this alone because none of the people I am close with understands what I am going through (and I pray they never do). I know that they want to be there for me as much as they can but I also think because they can not give me advice, they may think that there may not be much they can say or do to help me. So needless to say I don't turn to them when I need to vent. But those words to me for some reason just made me smile for the rest of the day. Maybe I can get through those rape trials but I know it is something I will have to work on and be strong.