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Saturday, October 22, 2005
I Hate This Feeling
Last night I went to bed upset because so many feelings and memories started to resurface. The things that I had once forgotten about began to depress me all over again. As a result, the anguish is now in the forefront of my mind again, and it has already dictated and ruined my day. Last night, all I kept seeing was that same doubt that I had about things before the storm. The worst part is, I am not near my counselor to express what I am going through. I guess I am upset because I didn't have to get to know my friend in Minnesota. His presence made me forget a lot of things. Coupled with the fact that I am not in my apartment anymore. Being there made me relive that incident every night. Now that he has plans to go elsewhere, I do not want to get to know anyone else. I don't want to meet new people. I am back to square one. Stuck in my shell.
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2 comments:
Poet Bec sounds like the smartest lady I know maybe you should take her advice. She has it together more than she thinks she does. As for you what happened in February as I said before just makes me sick to my stomach.I hope something good happens for you soon.
Ok I have read this entry again.There is no way that I can have any idea what you are going through but one thing i will say here.I was at a place where I didnt want to meet anyone. I had had what I thought were friends and it turned out they were not real friends just somebody I knew just another phone number in my phone book. It was like I didnt want to trust anyone because they always let me down you know just out for themself. Then about 2 years ago through I guess fate is there such a thing anyway I met someone who turned out to be my best friend in the world. Someone who showed me how to live again.Dream again and even though I know most dreams dont come true you have to have a dream. Somehwere down the road you need to let yourself meet someone. I took a chance and it was the best thing I have done in many many years.And because of my situation in life right now I know some of mine are just dreams I have and will always have the best friend in the world no matter where life takes us.
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