What Do I Do

I decided not to call my friend today. I know he was going back to the city to check on his home. My feelings are he will get there and see that he can not live in the city and will decide to leave the state. I am trying to brace myself for the news. I really do not want him to go but at the same expense I can not tell him how I feel out of fear that he will not feel the same way. If he leaves, then I will know that he truly does not see a reason to stay in the city. I certainly do not think I can influence his decision. If he leaves, then I don't think I will be in the dating scene for a while. I am hoping that he will decide to stay and maybe he and I can work on something developing into a relationship. Maybe all of this is wishful thinking. Perhaps he really isn't interested in me to the extent that he does not want to date me exclusively. He and I have never been straight forward with our feelings unless we were telling each other that we did not want to be in a relationship. One thing is for sure, he and I both are nonchalant when it comes to expressing ourselves.