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Friday, November 18, 2005

More Medicine

I visited the psychiatrist whom I saw prior to Hurricane Katrina. At my first visit, she prescribed zoloft for depression and ambien to help me sleep. I had only taken the zoloft for a week and would have finished the prescription but the storm threw me off guard and I only packed enough medicine for the weekend. So I stopped taking the zoloft. I also tried the ambien but it did not help at all. That was like swallowing a tic tac. Well today the doctor prescribed something different. She wrote a prescription for wellbutrin for the depression and restoril for a sleep aid. I am not thrilled about taking all of this medicine. My first impulse is to not take it at all. The doctor and my counselor are of the opinion that in order to get better I have to take something to help me focus. I disagree with that. Perhaps I am being stubborn and everyone who knows me well knows that I hate taking medicine of any form. When I read the side effects of the wellbutrin, that in and of itself turned me off. I don't know what to do right now. All I know is today I don't want to see the psychiatrist anymore because she keeps giving me drugs with dangerous side effects and I don't like the idea of being or feeling like I am crazy. I hate the idea of having to use drugs just to be happy when happiness seems like such a simple thing in life to achieve considering its free. I hate the fact that I have to pay out of pocket for this shit because my insurance coverage has an outlandish deductible and co-payment for mental health related issues. And I hate the fact that I have to go through this shit because that bastard was so self serving and decided to take something that he had no right to. I wouldn't be going through any of this had I just not picked up the goddamn phone that night and all I want to do is make this shit go away

2 comments:

truckdriver_sefl said...

Poet:-}....I have been reading your blog for awhile now and this is the first time I have heard you get really mad about this. While I have not gone back and read everything maybe that is a good sign. Again I am no Dr. just a simple truck driver who just holds a wheel going down the road I would say that yes getting mad is a good sign. I am not one to really cuss alot but yes I think this guy is scum and a real mf for taking something that can never be taken back and I belive at some point even if its beyond this life the bastard will pay. I had to laugh at your comment about the ambien being like swallowing a tic tac. I took a half of one one time yes just a half and it knocked me out for like 8 hrs COLD! I really do understand your hesitation to take the drugs but and belive me I am not at all in a position to know from taking them but for awhile I belive I would. You have to take care of yourself. It by and I want you to really really really hear this DOES NOT it DOES NOT mean you are a weak person for taking them. IT DOES NOT MEAN YOUR ARE CRAZY hear me YOUR NOT CRAZY!!!! This next statement may be way out of line but its a fact my best friend since 8th grade didnt take his and it caused him do do something really stupid and now I will never be able to pick up the phone and talk to him again. I know other people that take medication and belive me they are FAR from being crazy. Ok here I go going on and on again but its like I have said you have been to hell here and while I will never go through what you have I would feel some of the same things anyone would. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!!!

truckdriver_sefl said...

Poet listen to what Bec has to say she is without question the strongest lady I know:-}