My Feelings

Well today I spoke with my counselor about what I had been feeling recently. I don't like having this feeling but she said it is perfectly normal. The first time I felt this way was when I was living with my sister and her husband in Jackson. I felt a little uncomfortable around my brother in law largely because of what I have experienced. I know my sisters' husband would never do anything to hurt me but I felt apprehensive. Now that my dad is living with me until he can get situated I feel uncomfortable living with him also. My dad has never said or did anything to make me feel uncomfortable, and for that reason I hate this feeling. My counselor explained why it is perfectly normal for me to feel the way I do. She also seems to think that maybe I should live by myself until I am more comfortable around men. I don't know how to deal with the situation. I keep telling myself that it is my dad and he would never hurt me. Maybe it will subside and I can feel like a normal person around my dad. He will be in Houston for a couple of days so I will have some time to myself to think about everything. Another insecurity I have is a fear of the water here. Last night it rained and I was so much on edge that it was ridiculous. Because my apartment is on the third level, I was concerned about the roof blowing off and then all of the water would get in and the mold would eventually start climbing the walls and so on, and so on. Sounds like I need therapy huh? I will see her again on Monday at two. We will discuss working on my anger or at least learning how to express my anger. Till then....