Feeling Better Today

I decided not to go to work this morning. I figured I needed to rest before I actually go around people. I did however go to my weekly sessions. We talked some more about what happened to me. I even talked about my friend who is states away from me right now. She agreed with me when she said that it is probably a good thing that he and I are apart right now. I guess there are some things that I have to be sure of before I jump feet first into anything with him right now. I walked away with a good sense of understanding things. We talked about blame today. I am still in a phase where I am blaming myself for placing myself in that situation. Don't get me wrong, I think he has blame in this as well. I guess hindsight is always 20/20. I still wish I hadn't anwered the phone that night. But I also wish that he would have been more of a friend rather than the monster I saw that night. Everytime I think about it I go into shock because I thought this was someone that I knew; someone that I trusted. My counselor says that this experience will teach me to set boundaries. My only fear is that I might set boundaries so far away from me that I don't allow anyone new to come into my life. I guess that is why I didn't want to rush into anything with my friend who left the state. I just want to make sure that if I like him, then it is for the right reasons. I have always thought that overall he is a good guy, but he like myself have our opinions about relationships/marriage. I won't see my counselor for about two weeks due to the holidays. I will see the psychiatrist this coming Wednesday. I will explain to her the side effects of the Wellbutrin that I was experiencing. Maybe she will just allow me to reduce the dosage. I spent enought money on this medicine so I would like to give it another try. Well I am going to eat something so that I can take some more medicine. Will chat later....