Not The Right Move

Yesterday I went to the Taekwondo class and thought it was overall beneficial. It certainly is a self defense course and it teaches/reinforces discipline. Prior to class beginning, I asked the instructor if the course teaches how to execute moves to prevent an attack. He said that the course goes through defense tactics. So I watched the class in its entirety, but I felt intimidated. During the segment of self defense moves, there was a scenario if someone was attacked by a knife, gun, cane, stick, or just simply attacked from behind. All of which are important to know. But my mind was looking for a defense move to get someone off of me who is trying to rape me, and I didn't see a defense mechanism for that. In that moment I became intimidated all over again. I felt weak and powerless. Then my mind kept replaying the incident in my head and I couldn't get it out of my mind. I didn't sleep last night. I cried for a while and tried to forget, but the anxiety had already settled within me. I will continue to think about the self defense course because I know it is also a way to strengthen a person not only physically but mentally. For now, I think I will go back to the piano lessons. Music has always comforted me.

But on a brighter note. Today is my day. I am officially 32 and I am looking forward to celebrating/recognizing my day. I don't know how I will do that however. Last year I was in a trial that took all day. But so many people came by court or called me to wish me a happy birthday. My co-workers also had a cake for me and a big card that everyone signed. It really made my day. This year I know will be different because everyone has so much on their plates, but that didn't stop me from telling everyone about the most important day of THEIR life; my birthday. Cheers everyone!!!!!