Don't Get Attached To Anything

If it's one thing I have learned over the past year, its not to get attached to anything. Even after going into my old apartment to see if I could salvage my poetry, it turned out to be for nought. Somewhere in between moving to this apartment, I have managed to lose all of my poetry. Eight years of poetry lost. Thirty one years of my life in New Orleans washed away. The last year of my life painful and confusing in more ways than one. So what do you hold onto? What do you deem precious and protect with your life? My answer is not many things. So much can be taken away no matter how hard you work for it or how much time you put into it. Don't get me wrong, I am sure I could have lost my life or someone close to me, but I guess I just get frustrated everytime I think about all that I lost, will never get back, or see again. I suppose the best thing to do is not let it consume my thought process.

Something else however has monopolized my thought process. I didn't get a chance to spend the weekend with my friend. I asked him on Thursday if he would be busy this weekend and he said he didn't know. He didn't leave a window open for invitation to anything either. That ticked me off because I immediately assumed he had plans to be with someone else. I know I am being presumptuous but my mind is telling me that he isn't interested to the extent that I am. I didn't call him this weekend because in my mind I saw him on a date with someone else. I am sure the reader of this blog will think I am insecure and stupid. Guess what? I agree with you. I am the main cause of my being single and I will probably be that way for a good while.

On the flip side, this week I will train the senior trial attorney in my former section and I will make my transition to the homicide division. My junior in that section was promoted to senior; like I told her they would do. She is nervous and so am I. She will do fine. I on the other hand have my work cut out for me. I am looking forward to it but I know it will be hard work. The people in the division keep telling me that everything will be fine once I get settled in. I believe them. I just have to get comfortable first and then I will set the cruise control.