Online Today

For the first time in so many weeks, I am online. I have not hooked up my own internet access yet. I am on my brother in laws' computer. Anywho so much has happened in the last couple of weeks. I don't like my new apartment, I am not too fond of my neighbors, and I am not comfortable living in the east. I am on edge about so much. But the good news is my sister is home, my mother is home, and shortly my best friend will be home. Her birthday is on the 22nd of this month. YOU GETTING OLD GIRLIE!!!!!! Other than that, my friend that I am interested in starts work at my office tomorrow. I helped push his resume through and now I don't know how to handle his presence in the office. I am scared he will find interest in someone else and forget all about me. My best friend told me to talk to him about it and see where things stand between him and I. But I don't know how to bring it up. If he says that we are just friends, then I will be disappointed. Practically every man that I have been interested in has rejected me and I am not ready for anymore rejection. If he were to say that he only looks at me as a friend then I will understand, but I will still be hurt because deep down inside I really believe I would like to have some sort of relationship with him. I don't know what to do, but do what I do best and that's not address the issue at all. My counselor seems to think I should tell him how I feel. But she knows that won't happen anytime soon.

On another issue. I have been thinking about the breast augmentation idea again. I have been thinking about getting a breast reduction. Everyone I have talked to about this idea thinks I am crazy. In a way I agree with them. For some reason I am not comfortable with my breast size. I don't want to be vain, but I don't know what is the problem with me. There is so much about myself that I dislike and I know if I start cosmetic surgery it won't stop at my breast. How do we as individuals get to a point where we love ourselves and the way we look? If anyone can answer that question for me then I will be forever in your debt. Anwyay, I miss talking to my blog friends. I will do my best to write again soon. Take care....