Bottoms Up

When I woke up this morning, I decided to stay home and celebrate the Fourth of July by myself. My mother called and I decided to go to their house. When I arrived, they weren't there. So I decided to go by my sister house to see if they were there. Needless to say they were there, and I was somewhat bothered by what I saw. Let me say this first. Two days ago, a young man walked up to me and told me hello because he thought I graduated from high school with him. When he said the name of the school, I told him he had me mistaken for my sister. He apologized, told me his name and told me to tell my sister hello. I immediately called my sister and told her because I didn't want to forget his name. My sister didn't remember him, but I took the opportunity to talk to my sister because she and I don't talk much. I asked her what she was doing for the holiday and she said nothing; which I can understand because its the middle of the week. Well, when I went by my sister looking for my mother and father today, guess what I saw. Burger, hot dogs, baked beans, chips, etc. Now perhaps she and her husband decided to wake up and do something. That's possible. But it hurts to think that she wasn't going to call me and ask me to come over and spend the day with them. Had I not gone over there looking for my parents, I wouldn't have known any better. I went to a bar, had a few drinks by myself, then drove home. I got in the tub took a bath and cried. After my bath, I poured myself a few more drinks, and cried some more. As I write this, I am still thinking that life is not for me any longer. I really feel like I am skating on the edge with no care if I fall over or not.